Becoming Football's First Transgender Referee

If I didn't have football, I wonder whether I'd actually be here

When I was young, I knew what was going on in my head

and there was lots of things that young boys were doing that I didn't want to be doing

I didn't want to be playing soldiers or stuff like that, but I could play football

I did try to commit suicide when I was younger. I used to stand on the top of Ballam House, willing myself to jump

so I'd always go to the side that overlooked Sutton United. I'd have that focus and see that football ground

which probably made me come down in a lift rather than other forms

You know, refereeing, you just forget about everything. And football is great for your mental health and your physical health

Although I have to say, it probably delayed my transition, if I have to find one negative

Aaron, Lucy, nice to meet you. So yeah, 2017-18 was going to be my last season refereeing

having been a referee for many years. But I was in the process of transitioning

and at that point I didn't think that the football world would accept me

So that was going to be my last season. Christmas of 2017, I had quite a few heart attacks

ended up spending Christmas in hospital, had a blocked artery. Whilst I was in hospital, it made me realise that you only get one life

So I decided that I was going to see if the football world would accept me. So 2018, I told the FA who I actually am

and I still wanted to continue refereeing, which they were great. Which they were great about, to be fair

Although they were like, we don't know what to do, because we've never had any transgender referees before

However, they would support me as best as they could. And yeah, in August 2018, the start of the 2018-19 season

I came out publicly as being transgender. We just went, oh my God, it's on the front page

With Madonna. So I met Lucy in 2001. It was a second time relationship for both of us

I had four children, she had two. She was my local taxi driver, well she wasn't a driver, she was a controller

Then my taxi started being late and Lucy was deliberately making me ring the office to find out where my taxi was

So we started having a bit of a dialogue. And then one of the taxi drivers was a woman driver

and I think she quite liked Lucy. Lucy hadn't transitioned at this point

And she said, oh, come and meet her. So we went back, I went back really drunken with a load of my girlfriends

to the taxi office one night. And I just looked at Lucy and I knew we were going to be together

Avel was the first person I'd told and she's held my hand all the way through

and has been the biggest rock that I could ever have, to be fair. She's just been totally and utterly amazing

Lucy was a missing piece of the jigsaw. We chatted a lot that night and we chatted a lot since then

And it was about where would this go, who is she, where would she be

She was frightened, she was scared. She was frightened a lot because of coming out, she was worried about her family

So for a long time, for 15 years, we lived a double life

So we'd go out as Avel and Lucy, but at home we'd be Avel and him

You're in the wrong situation, you're using the wrong name and the wrong pronoun

And she had a few times that she purged everything. You know, she'd be this person everybody expected her to be

But I always knew that she was going to be this person

Everybody expected her to be, but I always knew she would transition. Always

Just a... I'm not saying I should really do really, but winning Rome and that

So just a penalty at the Stretford end. Not many people get to take one here, do they

No goalkeeper, so... Yeah. Football, whilst it is an inclusive space because everyone in the world loves football

it can give off the vibe that it's not a very inclusive place

You would find, and it still happens to this day, a lot of homophobic chanting and racist chanting

You know, the fact that there's now only a couple of out gay footballers

So if nobody is coming out as being gay, somebody coming out as being transgender

it was scary and I didn't think or feel that the footballing world would accept me

especially being a referee. Yeah, so this is where I went and helped a league out by running a line for them

And the team obviously knew that I was coming and I just got target abuse from literally the first second I got there till the end of the game, sadly

Put me in a bad place, not going to lie. Probably my worst experience in football

Well, not probably, it was my... It was. We'd been in the trans community for a long time and they'd really supported us

We'd made lots of friends and we thought we want to do something to give back. And Lucy's full of ideas, full of ideas

She was like, why don't we start a radio station? Hi everybody, it's Avril here and I'm here with The 70s Show

Yes, I am back again. I felt that we needed a station where we can discuss issues that trans people face

So I set up Trans Radio, which has just gone from strength to strength

Then we had lockdown. People were at home and they were stuck in situations that were difficult for them

So we set up Truck Listens, which is a mental health helpline

And that has actually saved lives, which is kind of, you know, amazing

Then, because Lucy's story then hit and she had lots of people reaching out saying

I want to play football, but I can't. And they didn't feel comfortable walking into a football club as them true selves

So I decided I'd set up a team, Truck United. Then nobody could say to me that there isn't a football team for me

because I would say, well, there is, because we've set one up. This is the Truck United warm up shirt, obviously based on the transgender flag colours

This is our main kit. We've actually sold this worldwide. With the Clark 10, of course, nobody wears a number 10 except myself

We've created history on two occasions where we fielded the first ever team of transgender women

when we played Dulwich Hamlet. And then this year, 2023, we fielded a team solely of trans masculine people

which was the first time that that has been done in an 11-a-side format

So this is our trophy cabinet, which is a lot bigger than Tottenham Hotspurs

A few faces I recognise, to be sure. We're at such an iconic venue as Old Trafford, you know, there's a lot of history here

So to be here and be involved in a game at such an amazing venue

was just absolutely brilliant, thoroughly enjoyable. Yeah, so when I got the email from Guinness World Records

it actually just gave me goosebumps. It's crazy. To be honest, I didn't know I was going to be involved in a game like this

I didn't know I was going to be involved in a game like this. I didn't know I was going to be involved in a game like this

I didn't know I was going to be involved in a game like this. It actually just gave me goosebumps. It's crazy

To be honest, all I've done is just be myself and be true to myself

and, you know, continue to do something that I love. I would just say to anyone, be yourself, be who you are and be true to yourself

And, you know, if that's how you're feeling, then express yourself and be who you are

I held up who I was for many, many years, lived a double life for many, many years

because I was worried about how it would affect everybody else. But you get one life, so go live it and live a great life